I recently read this quote in a book by M.J. Ryan called “This Year I Will…” and I was drawn to it–perhaps because I am venturing into the coaching world and coaching focuses on quicker movement, less of the past and a lot planning for the future. It’s essentially less talk and more action. This is not unlike how I practice as a therapist. I often used the addiction example and have the belief that soon after you admit your addiction (you aren’t ready to do much introspection or personal growth without that), you have to get on to the business of stopping the addiction. In other words, you have to do the action piece – namely to stop drinking, stop gambling, stop smoking, etc. But there is a risk in setting goals and most people make their goals soooo big and most likely won’t see progress as soon as they would like. Ultimately, they give up and see themselves as failing. Take a client of mine who wanted to lose 40 lbs. This is a big deal that could take as long as a year for a woman in her late 30, 40’s and 50’s to achieve. It’s a set-up for disappointment and maybe confirmation of a recurring failure cycle. What if smaller goals of 4 steps of 10lbs each or 5 steps of 8lbs each were created? What could the rewards be for the interim goals? Could it be that the 10 lbs IS an attainment of a goal all by itself? I think it is.
I’ve wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember but I get nearly 3/4 of the way through and decide I don’t like what I’m writing and stop. It’s an unending pattern for me that I am working on changing. I have begun to use Sark’s micromanagement wheel – I will provide a link to her site. Her books are colorful and can be very enticing to the whimsical and playful. I will do my best to explain the wheel and show you a picture of my own wheel in the next week or two.
What’s a ‘micro-management wheel’ supposed to do?
“The micro-management wheel is designed not just to motivate you, it’s a joyful motivation. ‘It feels like natural “fun” movement as SARK believes that we create the most when we are feeling delighted. Doing things out of fear, obligation or guilt isn’t the way to go, apparently, SARK believes that Fear, Obligation and Guilt spell FOG.” Can we ever relate???
What does a ‘micro-management wheel’ look like?
Draw a small circle (use a paper cup) and then draw a very large circle around it. Then draw eight ’spokes’ from the central circle to the edge of the larger one. It will look like a wheel with spokes or a pie with a center circle. Divide the spokes (don’t worry how even they are). In the center circle – Write your creative goal or a task oriented goal ie. losing weight, running a 3k 0r 6k run, cleaning out a closet, spending time with your kids, figuring out a relationship. Start with the top pie shaped section and begin to outline the steps you will take to achieving the goal. Take small steps, or better yet, tiny steps. I chose de-cluttering. Sark advised me that this was too big a goal. I chose my bedroom closet. I started with sorting my shoes, I continued to my T-shirts, then jeans, skirts, shirts, socks, etc. I reminded myself I would find my way to a closet where I could see what I have (or in my case see anything). It did take much longer than I imagined ( a month in total). Some days I forgot to do even one tiny thing on my wheel (sort the black sandals, or put the bright colored scarfs in a clear shoe box) But within a few days I was checking out my wheel and beginning again with the last thing I did. Most of all, I vowed to drop all expectations and recriminations. One year later, my closet is less perfect than it was the month I completed it but it is way more organized than ever before. I managed to create a system that works and when I fall back, I have something to return to.
Book writing is next and I will show you how I plan to go about it with my wheel. Check out Planet Spark! Even if you can’t relate to all of it try to approach with a sense of fun and try to cull through and engage your creative soul.
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