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When The Kids Leave For College…

September 2, 2009

Years ago a woman wrote a personal column in the New York Times about parents and sleep-away camp. I remember laughing so hard my belly hurt. At least 15 years later, I still remember it. She described the two types of parents she had come to know through her  experiences as a parent of a [...]

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Self-Validation

August 27, 2009

I’m now writing on  Hubpages.com as well as my Blog.  I will be posting additional articles here, there and on ezine.com. This week’s articles are on self-validating and parenting in the 21st century. I hope you enjoy them.

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“If YOU Change, I Will Be Happy”

August 24, 2009

“You Change and I will be happy”
At the heart of every conflict, disappointment and relational frustration is the idea that if the other person changes we will be happier. Think about your last disagreement with someone you cared about.  Was there an intense need to have that other person see things your way and just [...]

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Loving Yourself First

August 20, 2009

How often have you heard the expression “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself?” It sounds corny to think about loving yourself but self-love and the ability to love yourself is at the core of what is called self-esteem.
So what is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the capacity to know your own worth and value [...]

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Is The Past Affecting Your Relationships?

August 15, 2009

I have been thinking a lot about relationships — and not only those we have with our intimate partners. I have been trying to determine a common denominator, the common denominator that stops relationships in their tracks, paralyzes them at times, puts us on the defense and make us unable to work through conflicts and [...]

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I Hurt You, You Hurt Me Back… And Harder.

August 4, 2009

I hurt you, you hurt me back… and harder.
Does this sound familiar — and painful? It can take months to clean up the mess and the aftermath of a dual of hurt and rage — Words generally do more damage than hands. The worst part of an emotional exchange gone wrong is the piggybacking of [...]

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Unlearning Your Default Behaviors

July 29, 2009

There is nothing more likely to sabotage an intimate relationship than your instinct(s) to fight, flight or fix. Which one do you do? In the midst of an argument, heated discussion or disagreement -
The “Fighter” – instantly retaliates with an angry voice, nasty words and an array of defenses and attacks.
The “Flighter” – puts [...]

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Practicing Self-Compassion

July 25, 2009

It can often be difficult to find compassion for ourselves. Does anyone remember being taught how to do this?  Many of us received a few warnings about taking care of ourselves but these included things like dressing warm, not going out in bad weather and the benefits of drinking lots of fluids if you got [...]

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