Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble

Warning Signs -

Research has identified the early warning signs which lead to the deterioration of an intimate relationship. Based on these signs, researchers have been able to predict with a very high degree of accuracy (about 90%) which relationships are likely to end within a few years. This information can be very important in determining if and when your relationship is in serious need of more attention or help. 

Dr. J. Gottman and colleagues at the University of Washington have found that there are four specific signs of deterioration of an intimate relationship. These signs do not mean that your relationship is destined for failure but it is a sign that your relationship needs the help of a safe, objective and nurturing professional to get you both to a better, happier, and more connected place in your relationship.

I utilize many of Dr. Gottman’s tools and techniques to help you get your relationship back on track. Each couple receives a copy of his book on their 2nd session so that they can work with it during the therapy process. I also work with Terrence Real from the Relationship Empowerment Institute and will provide you with a copy of that book as well.

In order of increasing danger, they are listed below:

Criticism - instead of merely complaining, the person attacks and blames their partner’s personality and/or character, such as “you are a selfish uncaring person.”

Contempt - feedback with the intent to insult and/or psychologically abuse the partner, such as “you are more than stupid: a total idiot.”

Defensiveness - not being willing to listen to anything your partner has to say to you, out of fear of them hurting or attacking you…and

Stonewalling - ignoring, avoiding and distancing from your partner.

If you recognize the signs, call me and I can help! Email: Marcia@marciareich.com Tel:973-408-9244

References: Gottman, J. M. (1993). A theory of marital dissolution and stability. Journal of Family Psychology, 7, 57-75; Gottman, J. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown Books.