Let’s begin with FEELINGS — YOUR feelings and your relationship to them. We need to separate the Feeling, Thinking & Doing parts of ourself. Each of these is important and we need to see and know them for what they areAND the role they play in the transition and change process.
Feeling and Thinking
Feelings are sparked by your emotions and are colored by our thoughts, memories, and those pictures and images that have become linked by our past experiences. Our emotions and feelings play a huge role in how we experience and connect with the world. But keep in mind that your feelings often come from things that have already happened.
It’s vital that you sort through these as you create a new roadmap. Answering the question like - What’s happening now? and What happened in the past? is important. We have to figure out what is creating the feelings that get stirred up inside. It’s so easy to get all tangled up in feelings and suddenly find yourself paralyzed. Isn’t that just the worst feeling ever?
For Example: Let’s say you are dealing with the loss of your job. At first there might be some shock followed by sadness and potentially fear of what’s going to happen next. Inevitably you will shift into the negative self feelings i.e. “I’m a loser” “I failed” “No one is going to hire me now” We must get those feelings down on paper when we are creating a new roadmap. They are important to the process. They have power to stall us and we need to do a little dissecting.
While we can’t and should not disregard our gut instincts and feelings— at the same time we can’t let them rule the show.
Thinking is how we make sense of things. We look. We explore. We review. When we are in our thinking mind, we use logic, data, facts, as part of any decision making process. It’s a linear process rather than a reaction. We are using a different part of our brains when we are in thinking mode. And it’s important to get to that part. We actually do this by working with our feelings — this may seem a little counterintuitive because hey our feelings don’t always feel so great — and we really just want to run and hide from them—right? Sidebar - Our feelings find us and we can’t outrun them. However, we can use facts to bring the demon of negative feelings down —this is what helps in the creation of a new path.
Some of the worksheets I’ve created for you can assist you in this process.
Keep in mind that thinking brings up feelings too. So they do overlap and are both needed to arrive at a course of action or a decision.